One million and one random thoughts in my head, I feel like its gona explode any moment. I've accumulated all and now that exams are over.. Many random things to many random people.

I don't know why but you're like the only person I want to turn to. Though I know I don't often do so but somehow this time I feel more comfortable talking to you. I was quite sad cos we cldn't meet up due to last minute changes but we will be meeting soon next week!

I think you're really pathetic and possessive. I do not get what is your problem is it your insecurity or whatever issues zzz. But not as if I give two hoots about it. So.. I just needed to say this out cos I think its very unfair.

I don't think you know that what you're doing is not making me feel good. I know the bad intention's not there or anyth but just to say. I don't know how to put this too but the yardstick seems to be much further than the comfort level compared to before. And I'm afraid this feeling will make things change and I don't want it to. Damn bad this thing. Zzzz

I srsly need to know what are you thinking. I don't exactly know what to do at the moment, and I don't understand why I get so flustered and paranoid everytime we talk. Things never used to be like that, I really don't know why it became this way. Why are things so zzz now like..... It's disturbing me big time. Like... You have no idea. It may not look like it but I treasure this a lot a lot a lot just that I suck at the 'dealing with it' part. As usual, my habits disgust me once again.

I'm sorry I treated you this way today. The worst part is to always not mean what you feel so I just want to salvage this whole thing in a very indifferent way. It's all sinking in too fast and I want you to get out of it. You definitely don't deserve this.

I miss you suddenly when I realise what's happening soon. I've always wanted to keep you in my sight but I guess due to different commitments its very difficult to. But now since I have my holidays and I know you have yours too, I will make the effort to do so :)

I shld not have browsed through the photos omg makes me feel like I was two years back. But I'm glad for whatever that has turned out so far just that... I knew I went crazy over you for a while HAHAHAHA but glad at where we are at now :)

And,

I realise distractions don't help at all I always end up stoning and thinking. My big problem is probing my head now. I need to get some sleep. Shall update on my life soon again when I feel its worth updating about, since I lead such a mudane life. Not like some people. Here we go again zzzzz.

Shall end off with a sappy thai love song :)

The faster we're falling
We're stopping and stalling
We're running in circles again
Just as things we're looking up
You said it wasn't good enough
But still we're trying one more time

Maybe we're just trying too hard
When really it's closer than it is too far

Cause I'm in too deep and I'm trying to keep
Up above in my head instead of going under
Cause I'm in too deep and I'm trying to keep
Up above in my head instead of going under
Instead of going under

Seems like each time
I'm with you, I lose my mind
Because I'm bending over backwards to relate
It's one thing to complain
But when you're driving me insane
Well then I think it's time that we took a break

Maybe we're just trying too hard
When really it's closer than it is too far

Cause I'm in too deep and I'm trying to keep
Up above in my head instead of going under
Cause I'm in too deep and I'm trying to keep
Up above in my head instead of going under
Instead of going under
Instead of going under

I can't sit back and wonder why
It took so long for this to die
And I hate it when you fake it
You can't hide it, you might as well embrace it
So believe me, it's not easy
It seems that something's telling me

I'm in too deep and I'm trying to keep
Up above in my head instead of going under
Cause I'm in too deep and I'm trying to keep
Up above in my head instead of going under




I always knew I thought wrong. So let this be the last time. It's the end.

Hi all, I'm quite excited for tmr. It marks yet another worthy day to rejoice about :) I am eggcited for the holidays and surprisingly, clinicals. Definitely an eye-opener.

It's 2 plus at night, I'm going to sleep after this. Planning to wake up at 8 to read some physiology before heading to school. Hope the plan works! I've been so tired lately, my mood has been swinging uncontrollably. Pimples, worst eyebags ever and the fatter me, I evolve pretty fast over the exams. No one wld ever want me.. Ever. If they see me like this. Or maybe even if they don't.

Sometimes all we need is a talent from above to fulfill our needs and desires. I've always wanted the ability to read ppl's mind, so I know what they're thinking and what they will plan to do ahead. Stalkerish much? I still want the ability to do that.

Been feeling not-so-good these few days, but I thank my awesome friends for even bearing with my presence. I find that I scribble nonsensical stuff on my notes while I study, but it turns out to be words I've always wanted to say. Cowardice much? I will still be one.

I like how I managed to make the latter two paragraphs end with the same question. Lol okay stupid.

Yet another cold night :(

snftmms,yk? hj, dukhmimu? ihttufada, iwiummt. it.. i-u.

Omg. It's pouring cats and dogs now. At 1:55am, definitely not a good weather to stay up for last minute revisions. I need distractions once in a while, so here I am using my phone to keep me awake.

Radial, median, ulnar nerves. Shoulder, elbow and wrist joints. Epithelial, cardiac and skeletal muscles. Embryology, upper limb, tissues and what more I can't remember. Trying to stuff all these into my brain. If only I cld tear open my brain, throw all my notes in and sew it back. One of the few chances that I might get an A for the first time. Now I'm like struggling to pass. Zzz

Okay back to kissing my notes now. Can't wait for Friday planned many things to so alr hehehe.

Gnight you :)

People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason,you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilleed; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people; and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being part of my life.


I like this a lot :>

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. I realized that he: doesn't exist.

2. I realized that I speak: nonsense.

3. I realized that I love: selectively.

4. I realized that I have: been a bitch.

5. I realized that I lost: someone.

6. I realized that I hate: some of my habits.

7. I realized that marriage: is just a legal bond.

8.I realized that somewhere: somehow... I want to be there.

9.I realized that I will always be: some idiot in one way or another.

10.I realized that I like: things I can't have.

11.I realized that the last time I cried was: in my sleep (er I think cos of a nightmare hahaha)

12. I realized that my phone is: gona screw up pretty soon.

13. I realized that when I wake in the morning: I feel like sleeping again zzz.

14.I realized that before I went to bed last night: The flashback came again zzzzzz.

15.I realized that I'm thinking of: many things that I won't be able to comprehend.

16.I realized that babies: can get adorable at times.

17.I realized that the internet: isn't a thing you'll like to screw at.

18.I realized that today: is the fml day.

19.I realized that tonight I'm going to: study? Sad life I know.

20.I realized that tomorrow I will go to: Sb and study somemore.

21.I realized that I say: senseless things.

22.I realized that my favorite thing at the moment: MEEKIA

23.I realized that the best time of day: sleeping or spending time with my friends.

24.I realized that the school: doesn't interest me.

25.I realized that in ten years: I'm gona be a rich hag.

26.I realized that the world: can bring me down.

27.I realized that I cannot force: things to happen.

28.I realized that true friends: are friends who tell you the truth (HAHAHA)

29.I realized that I need: to study and study and study.....

30.I realized that I: need to wake up my idea.


Give me six days to live in isolation as I need to get rid of this guilty conscience that has been bugging me ever since the start of this week. An intangible feeling that no words can describe, I shall cut off from the world for a while. It's like living in simple days with no sins to commit and no temptations to begin with. I shall attempt to displace my feelings aside and do whatever necessary to redeem back my life. Because of all the things that I've done wrong......

And as the month approaches that symbolises the only similarity between us now, let's hope that it will be different this year. As we always wanted it to be.


Till next Friday.

):

I have so many nice songs now I'm damn happy =)
Hahahahaha srsly, like damn happy only.


Its 3:25am, and I don't feel sleepy at all. Zzz I think really, whenever I have a test or practical, I can feel sleepy even before the clock strikes ten pm. Then at times when I'm at my own pace I can like not feel sleepy at all. I have to admit that studies do really bore the shit out of me. Haha including the fact that I don't even know what's going on, I need lady luck to be on my side this time for the exams next week.

My plans for the next few days are like boring ttm, just cramping of unknown contents into the saturated mind of my own.. I feel like an idiot not being able to understand my own body. Lol but with the one million hormones that we have to memorise.. I don't feel that idiotic afterall. Hahahha okay typing nonsense.







Woah she damn hot she's like my wallpaper now. Hehehehehe gona watch Skins after the exams are over. Friday faster come!! Shit she's really some hot stuff there. Hahahhaa okay breathe.

Okay this post is damn nonsense.

But she wears short skirts
I wear T-shirts
She's cheer captain
And I'm on the bleachers


Mai-Tum-Hai-Chum-Teung-Tai.

My whole body is aching. Zzz

Glad Netballuxion has finally come to an end :)

Some people are still damn Loser even after so long. Hahaha seriously need brushing up skills.


A: eh, u know this coming week no sch?

B:OF COS LA
WAHLAO
you really think im some stupid idiot ah
HAHAHHA

A:WHY U NEVER TELL ME???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

B:WHY YOU DONT KNOW?!?!?!?!?!
OMG
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
JOKE
YOU MEAN YOU DIDNT KNOW?
HAHAHAHHAHAHAH

A:I DIDNT LA
HAPPY?!
i like only figured out MYSELF a few days back!
but why everyone knows!!!!???
EVEN U
WAH LAO

B:AHAHAHAHAHA
JOKE
YOU REALLY JOKE


One more to add to my collection. LOL actually I am very tempted to paste the whole convo cos its really DAMN H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S. Hahahahaha that's for doing this to me -_-



Okayzzz gotta go catch some sleep before meeting S tmr gnight! :)

I know its wrong, but why do I keep coming back.


hahaha
i know.
FAILED
u know i woke up just now at 7
i saw the time and i jumped out of bed
i thought its tmr alrdy
and im going to be late and i haven studied
lol.
really man.
not good feeling at all.
cos i haven tell my mum what time i have to be in sch, so i thought she never wake me up
cos i always fall asleep with my com at night so i thought thats what happened.
i was trying hard to recall what i was doing the 'night' before (Damn loser AHAHAHAH)
i know!
until i realise that there's a possibility that its still the SAME day, i went to check my phoneand its 10 AUG!
then i went back to lie down
hahaha
damn loser man.
felt super ashamed
eh, dun need to caps until like that right
once enough alrdy
dun tell me that never happen to u before, 7am and 7pm the sky looks the same lafelt like morning k
dun know why the air like abit fresh (WTF what air a bit fresh HAHAHAHA)
must be the stupid rain
what!
the whole day like drizzling
eh, really the air and sky's fault la (zzz BLAME NATURE I SEE)
if not i where got so stupid (AHAHAHAHA Idk what to say)
somemore i look out of my room, my parents room got nobody





HAHAHAHAHAHAHA this is like the best joke of the week seriously. It might not make sense when you read it at some parts but I did so to protect the person's identity and my identity cos my response was damn retarded also. HAHAHAHAHA seriously damn loser I love this convo. SERIOUSLY, LOVE IT TTM. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


Er-hum, anyway back to my life, today's test was like a screw up. So not surprising anyway. One million definitions came out and I didn't memorise any. Hahaha I was crapping through most of the time like writing nonsense, thank god time passed rather fast.

Not to mention I only slept like 3 hours last night. Zzzz seriously I had to keep persuading myself that I was taking a nap -_- But it worked somehow HAHA I still managed to wake up in time and go to school and didn't die off. School was useless by the way. Reach at like 8am for test, then a two hour lecture which was mass copying for the first hour and then sleeping for the next hour, then THREE hour break wtf we ate then went to Amk hub to walk and kill time haha then class for like, one and a half hours? Which was originally supposed to be three hours. Omg super waste time seriouslyzzz.

No school tmr yayzers ^^ Tmr will be a good day cos I'll be going for Lady Gaga's concert!! ^^ ^^ YAYZERS my idol siol teeheehee. Ck ask me to cut out umbrella and hang on my shoulder, then cut up some teddy bear and wear it on my head to follow her fashion sense. Haha wtf damn retarded la. Then give me name all, call me Lady ZhiZhi. AHAHAHAHAAH seriously, my classmates call me retarded, I don't know what to call them. LOL they are so gona kill me.....


Anw, I decided to post pictures of my Hammies ^^ Cos one passed away not too long ago and I didnt mention but when I look through the photos I still miss it a lot a lot :(

Obscene but cute nontheless ^^

That's about all.

I need to save up money to buy new earphones zzz cos this one is very annoying, and fuck my stomach just growled omg. And I'm annoyed at little things now cos the Red is back.

Gnight peeeegs.

I think I cannot get use to this.


Now what time, what time?

I can't believe I'm going crazy over this. I seriously C A N N O T believe it. I can't even rmb the last time I felt the urge and anxiety over smthg like that. I really don't understand why. Omg why why why..............?!?!?!? I can't even answer my own question.



Last night when we met up I felt that the most consoling thing that Kim said to me was 'Sometimes good times are only meant to be remembered as happy memories', somewhere along that line but it really made so much sense to me. Haha okay, no time to get emo here. I just wish that I have a superb memory so I can like recall everyth and anyth that I want to, fond moments to keep and the not-so-happy memories to well, keep too. That's the whole purpose of having a blog to keep track of my events but sadly I don't do it well at all. Lol plus photos too but erm, I guess there isn't a regular habit of taking photos too. Hahaha okay I am starting not to make sense already.





HAHAHA nonsense we do when we're bored.




& Shern! Sorry I couldn't wake up at whatever desired time I was suppose to today. Hahaha you better be studying and not like me now blogging away HAHA see you in school tmr :}




Why continue fighting when you've already lost.

I am glad last night wasn't a failure, hope you enjoyed your night picnic Kim! =) Thanks Titi and Warrick for helping cos I was like a joke myself. I could even take the wrong bus to the wrong place without realising until half an hour later -__- Seriously street noob ttmzxzxz

I am so mother broke now by the way. Never thought I could be this broke in my life. I can't even head out to Starbucks to study cos the amount of money I have now can't even support my enormous appetite at Starbucks. Hahaha fml seriously. Nvm at least I can reach my goal of having a visible sternum. HAHAHA seriously, FML.

Plan for tmr and Monday: Study Biomechanics if not I GG on Tuesday.

Oh and I never thought I would say this, but I really need to go Sentosa to tan cos my skin has reached the white side like it never did before. HAHAHA then I look like some white pig its damn gross omg. Plus I'm like putting on weight like nobody's business, I really need to tan badly. I should and I will plan out a list of things to do after the exams.. Which means holidays!!!! Haha okay getting too excited at the wrong time.

Okayzzz its 1015pm and I need to head out soon to watch Up! :) I'm not paying for the tickets by the way HAHA that's why I can watch. The boy in Up looks damn cute hahaha I hope the show will be gooood. Not like GI Joe omg totally Sci-Fi everyth looks damn surreal and unrealistic, what nanomites zzz. It didn't help when Kim was like dying due to her eye infection and Warrick and Marc Seah used me as a chip holder cos I was sitting in between them -_- But it was still good time spent with friends :) Hahahah then Marc Seah sent me home after.


KK baibai friendzxzxzx ^^

Finally, Kine prac is over though I know I didn't do well or anyth, at least I didn't blank out compared to the first time. So I should be thankful enough, considering we had to learn two more extra topics. However, although I can take a breather now, it is only the beginning as the exams are nearing. Goodbye to my social life.

Things have been changing a lot this year too I realise. Soon after we will have less meetings/gatherings with our group of friends because Uni is starting soon and everyone has their own timetable and schedule for the day. The weekends might even lose their meanings soon enough. We'll meet up wherever possible, but the drifting is still inevitable I guess. I felt quite affected thinking about it :( Sigh this is not good for my mind.

Learning to adapt to a new environment and lifestyle isn't the easiest, but it opens up your tiny little room a whole lot more. You find the gold and the dirt, and sometimes bizzare things that you can't comprehend. As I get older, I find it harder to express myself as time speeds up. And its a flaw that I can never change. So treasure the gold, kick off the dirt and ignore whatever else that is weird. Hahaha after typing a whole load of crap, the whole idea is just to Treasure the Gold :)

Okayzzz, its 1:09am, tmr school's at 12 which probably won't be the most productive for me, then after SBCP for some mugging loving. Hahaha see how first. Ran 2.4 for training today zzz just when I was the most unprepared for it my legs are rather sore now. Tmr I shall eat wassants, shaky, drink ice lemon tea and probably some ice cream. Lol food therapy is the best :)

Gnight pigs :)

After months of putting in so much effort like I've never done before, I can safely bet that it was a futile waste. It's as though I've been living in reailty but it turns out to be a joke. How pathetic and miserable. I wish I could hate you for making me feel this way. Instead I feel that I've been spinning in a circle, round and round too fast, experiencing emotions I've never felt. Why must the good moments always ALWAYS cover up for the bad times. What a classic night. And soon I'm back at the start, whereby the whole roller coaster ride begins again. Don't you know its very tiring to keep trying, can't you see that I'm hanging on like a broken thread.

But soon I will make it fade away. I need to unwind.